Code Green, Psych E.R.... Code Green, Psych E.R...

Call to the local police station to pick up a 5150. Patient is a 71 year old male, diagnosed with psychosis, delusions, auditory hallucinations.... etc, etc...
We get him out of the "drunk tank" the cops have stuck him in, and he seems pretty polite, pleasant. He's following directions, acting pretty normal....The drive to the hospital is uneventful as well, he makes small talk with my partner and everything seems just fine.
Then...
(DUH DUH DUHHHHHHH!!!)
He starts hyperventilating as soon as we pull into the ambulance bay. He wont respond to my partner's persistent question of "Are you having trouble breathing, sir?"
We assume he's just doing it just... to do it. He almost sounds like he's growling, and it's starting to creep me out. My partner slips away to use the restroom, and the minute she's gone, all hell breaks loose.
He starts screaming, at the TOP of his lungs...:
"HELP ME! HELP ME! PSYCHIATRIC EMERGENCY SERVICES! HELP ME, THEY'S TRYIN' TO KILL ME! I'M JOE SMITH, THEY'S TRYIN' TO KILL ME, PSYCHIATRIC EMERGENCY SERVICES!"
(And mind you, the 'psychiatric emergency services' part sounds more like 'sykatrik merge 'n see services')
I try to calm him down, the cops try to calm him down.. Hell, everyone who walked by him tried to calm him down, and he's not having it. He's been screaming nonstop for almost 20 minutes now, and he's way past the point of disturbing everyone in the hospital. He's now to the point where all the E.R. docs are ready to shoot him with a tranquilizer gun. This particular Psych E.R. is a county facility, and they have a tendency to take about 6 years to admit a patient, (which, they only admit ONE patient at a time...)
THANKFULLY, an E.R. doc walked up, and when SHE couldn't calm our patient down, she threatened to call a "Code Green" unless the Psych E.R. let us in. They, of course, stood around staring at each other.
So, here we go.
"CODE GREEN, PSYCH E.R....CODE GREEN, PSYCH E.R......CODE GREEN, PSYCH E.R...."
A "Code Green" is a psychiatric emergency. Meaning someone is going crazy enough for the nurses to be afraid for their own safety. Watching a Code Green go down is pretty hilarious, because out of nowhere, 20 police officers show up and tackle the patient. They disappear as quickly as they came, and the patient is too terrified to pull any more sh*t.
As soon as the code is called, the Psych doors open up and we're let in. He calms down, but only for a minute. Then, he refuses to get off the gurney....then refuses to sit in a chair.... then refuses to stand up...
THEN HE STARTS YELLING AGAIN.
The nurses give him about 2 seconds to calm down before he's given Ativan.
ZONK! He's out.


Lucky bastards. If only I was allowed to give Ativan, but then, of course... This blog wouldn't exist.

Over and out-
the PSYCH wrangler